Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
