You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
