I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
