Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
