He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
