Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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