I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Your cock deserves a montage
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
