yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
