So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
