she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
