i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
