So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
