hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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