Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
