after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
3 2 1 whiskey
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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