we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
