I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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