Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
