I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
