Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
