Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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