Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
