Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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