i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she peed on how many people?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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