what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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