we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize