i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
