Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
