guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
