i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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