The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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