I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So much rum. So many feels.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
