You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
