Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
