and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it glows. i had to have it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
