Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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