i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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