More tranny stories later!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
