Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am spending my child support on dildos
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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