Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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