she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
