I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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