I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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