Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dignity is for republicans.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
