does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
