I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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