this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
