I didn't shave. On purpose
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
