So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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