i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you had me at cake vodka
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
