I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
